How to Make Umbridge Go Mad
by MizuKitsune10
Summary: What if, Peeves, George, and Fred had help in making Dolores Umbridge go mad? What if Eriol Hiiragizawa, a visitor at the time, helped? And so here is this oneshot. It will probably suck though. DON'T KILL ME! AU fic. First CCS fic. HPxCCS fic CRACK FIC


My muse was watching Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix, then reading a Harry Potter and Card Captor Sakura crossover fic. What if, Peeves, George, and Fred had help in making Dolores Umbridge go mad? What if Eriol Hiiragizawa, a visitor at the time, helped? And so here is this oneshot. It will probably suck though. DON'T KILL ME! AU fic. First CCS fic.

**I **_**DO NOT own Card Captor Sakura or Harry Potter!**_

**How to Drive Umbridge Insane**

Eriol was sadly watching as students of Hogwarts were put under the care of the sweet, kind, caring banshee named Dolores Umbridge. No she was not a real banshee, but she could certainly be one. He was just visiting Hogwarts as he knew Dumbledore, and while he was watching the madwoman enslave students, he wondered if he should just go home or visit his dear girlfriend Tomoyo, but then, something caught his eye.

That something came as twins who were determined to drive Umbridge up the wall. Yes, Fred and George Weasley did not like this teacher, and so they worked on driving her up the wall, or into early retirement. Eriol was pleased, watching the Weasleys destroy Umbridge's perfect little world.

'_So good to see people trying to have fun and drive others crazy. We need more people like that in life.' _Eriol thought with a tear in his eye. He knew that only he and other mischief makers believed it though. Since he wanted Umbridge out too, he settled into forming an alliance with the Weasley Twins and Peeves. So, Eriol decided to stay and help drive the lady mad.

The next day, Fred and George were in the common room with Lee Jordan trying to concoct new plan to drive the toad bonkers. Unfortunately, none of them could think of an adequate plan. "We need inspiration!" cried George. "Yep. I wish we had some more help." Fred agreed.

All of a sudden, a gust of wind blew in the common room. All three of the pranksters closed their eyes, and when they opened them, there was a dark blue haired boy with a large golden staff taller than him with a sun on top.

"You guys said you needed help?" the stranger asked with a sinister grin. "Yes, but who are you?" Lee said. "I am a person who wants to see pranks, jokes, and mischief all around the world. Also, I want to help my friend Dumbledore get rid of that toad that calls herself a lady." Eriol said with a large grin full of mischief and slight madness.

George, Fred, and Lee, who heard this speech, were instantly captivated by the boy's dream for the world. "We would love your help sir." they said in unison. "Please call me Eriol." Eriol replied. "So what are you thinking of doing to the toad?" he asked. The three Gryffindors showed Eriol multiple plans. "This one is our favorite though." George said.

What a plan it was. It had Umbridge chasing after the twins' homemade fireworks which would multiply if vanished, and explode when stunned. Eriol loved the plan and made a few adjustments to it like making them write words in the air like 'Umbridge is a toad!' or 'Umbridge wants to snog Minister!'. "Eriol, you are brilliant!", the twins sang. "Thank you, but I have an even better idea." Eriol said.

"Why don't we make small magical paintings to act like cameras and connect them to a bigger one we hide and use to cause more mischief?", he asked. All of them loved the idea, so Eriol made multiple paintings that would go in every classroom and every corridor. Then, he made one that would show one camera at a time, all you had to do was tap it then say which room or corridor.

Eriol then got Peeves to work with the three Gryffindors without pranking them, which was greatly appreciated by all. Peeves for a chance to screw with a teacher's head more than usual, and the Gryffindors for the lack of pranks for the rest of the school year. Then, he enchanted an empty trunk so it was enlarged and act like a base of mischief.

To say the three seventh years were astonished was an understatement. After placing each 'camera' in a room or corridor and hiding it, they ran into their base of operations to let the games begin.

The first thing they saw was Umbridge putting up Ministry decree # 24 and the rule of disbanding all teams and clubs. Fred and George, who were mighty pissed. They were near ready to kill her when Eriol calmly said, "Well, looks like we shall have to teach the bi-whoops! I mean 'lady' a lesson, won't we?". The Prankster Squad immediately went into action.

The next day, Dolores was thinking about how well of a job she was doing and how well she was going to be rewarded for the inside information of Hogwarts. She was thinking gold, jewelry, and a promotion, when something came at her. That something was Peeves.

Yes, Peeves was gliding down the hall yelling, "UMBRIDGE HAS GONE MAD! SAVE YOURSELVES!" Of course, no one believes Peeves usually, but this, of course, HAD to be true since Umbridge wore PINK and tried to be a nice lady/banshee.

So, everyone was now screaming and running for their lives. While Umbridge was trying to calm the students down, she failed to notice the wire right behind her feet. So, being the idiot she is, she stepped on it, and of course, the rope caused another rope to snap that lifted Umbridge over her head, literally. And now, everyone could see her ugly pink knickers.

A couple tiny first years saw and yelled, "IT BURNS!! I'M BLIND!!" This of course, caused everyone else to see the horrendous sight and either yell, or laugh their butt off. Majority laughed though. As Umbridge got up, she saw a shiny plaque reading 'To the world's best high Inquistor'.

She immediately grabbed it, and she was transformed into a guy, a gay one too. She then saw Snape, and hit on him. Due to the fact that the very idea makes me nauseous,. I will explain in further detail. By the end of it though, Umbridge was back to normal and blushing very, very brightly.

"Alright!", the twins and Lee chorused. Peeves just cackled madly. Eriol, however was nowhere to be found. By the time the twins realized this fact and went back to base, a note showed up on the floor. It read:

_'To the twins, Lee, and Peeves. I have to go. Something just came up and I cannot come back. Under this note though, is a plan that I want you to use on Umbridge. It will be crazy, and near impossible to do, but you guys could do it. Good luck, and make sure to spread the fun and laughter around. - Eriol'_

All of them were determined to make the plan work, and had done thousands of simulations. This was the last wish of their friend - no mentor, and they would be damned before they let him down. Finally, after three weeks of constant work, they were ready to send the toad packing the next day.

By noon, chaos reigned supreme in Hogwarts. Fred, George, Lee, and Peeves first started off by dying Umbridge's hair a blaring yellow. Then, they made her clothes have mewing kittens, and every time she moved, the kittens would mew. These were Un-transfigurable until the day was over.

Next, when she walked down the hall, the armor would yell, "All hail the toad!" or "Bow to the porcelain throne!" and especially, "Here she comes! Look away before you die!" When she got downstairs, the Great Hall was filled with graffiti saying 'Umbridge + Fudge!', 'Ministry is a load of lying hacks!', They want us to die'.

Finally, Umbridge's seat was covered in puke, pop, and piss. Of course, that was the only seat unoccupied. Once she sat on it, earshattering opera music began to play. It stopped after a high pitched "Umbridge can go fck herself!", causing everyone in the vicinity to either chuckle, laugh, smile, or die frm lack of oxygen.

Next, the daily Prophet came and there was a picture of Umbridge kissing a photo of Fudge. Needless to say, she recieved many Howlers.

Finally, a large pack of ghosts started chasing her. While running for her life, she ran straight into the lake. There, the squid swallowed her and spit her out. She landed in mud on the shore of the lake, and mermen slung seaweed at her. She looked like the Lochness monster.

The entire time, Fred, George, Lee, and Peeves laughed their butts off and felt they did their leader good. Again, they went to base, and saw another note. This one read:

_'Thank you guys for doing that, and my gift to you is in the corner. - Eriol'_

They looked in the corner, and found the answer to make the Portable Swamp work. It was not progressing, but with what Eriol gave them, the swamp was ready. Peeves got more prank supplies.

And we all know how that ended. The twins dropped out, Peeves DID drive Umbridge mad, and she had left running and being chased by peeves who was whacking her with a ferret(not Malfoy, unfortunately).

And somewhere in England, Eriol Hiiragizawa wiped a tear from his eye, knowing that pranks shall be forever idolized by the twins, and their prank shop's customers.

**The End**

So watcha think? I think this sucked, but oh well. Any and all reviews accepted. Please review! Also, some of these pranks were suggested by embren. Thanks Emily!


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